Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
