the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
