I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
