thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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