He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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