I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
