i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
