You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
