My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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