I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
