So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
