Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
