I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
