OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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