I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
