At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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