Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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