You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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