she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
