You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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