You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
When are your genitals available?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
