so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
