Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
