I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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