Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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