I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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