Three words: puerto rican gang bang
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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