The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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