Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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