how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
