Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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