just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
