Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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