I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
