Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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