How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
