Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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