my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
