And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
