he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
