But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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