mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
