I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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