ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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