I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm always down for nudity.
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