Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
