This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My Higher Power is John Stamos
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
