Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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