were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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