Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
